Even though I knew we were never really good for each other and all of this is for the best, tonight I miss you and it’s taking every ounce of self control I possess to not send you a cute flirty message. I want to ask about your day. I want to hear your voice. I want to babble on the phone to you, till my voice becomes thick with sleep and I drift off without realising. Awake one second. Asleep the next.
Maybe I won’t feel like this a week from now. A month, a year from now maybe you will be just a distant memory. But tonight, tonight I miss you.
You only make me happy when I ignore the warnings in my head, that little voice that whispers that this isn’t a good idea. Because if I don’t ignore it, then I question myself, I question the person I am. A person willing to set aside her morals just so she doesn’t have to be alone.